My childhood wasn't horrible, but it sure as hell was dysfunctional. My parents both worked full-time jobs they despised, but like many parents, they stayed in these jobs because "it paid the bills."
When my mom wasn't working, she was constantly busy tending to her two toddlers & giving her best efforts to present for her rebellious teen daughter(me). That was challenging because my dad was gone Monday through Friday for work. This left her all week raising the kids independently while also being responsible for maintaining the house, chauffeuring us children, getting the shopping done, cooking meals, leaving no actual time for connection. My parents were exhausted, stressed, hostile, bitter, and mentally unavailable, leaving me, a teenager, confused, insecure, and downright rebellious.
As a teenager, I never enjoyed being home. I was always desperate to do something, wanting to avoid the negative energy present in my household. While not understanding genuine connection, I found myself seeking it in all the wrong places, starving for attention and love in any way I could receive it. I hung out with other damaged teenagers, drank, did drugs, followed bad behavior believing it would solve all my problems, but really, it just numbed all my issues. Continuously living this life for years on end, I found no real connection or love; instead, I allowed more disappointment to become my reality. I began running my hate program, believing I was not worthy of love and feeling like I would amount to nothing.
This is just a fragment of the dysfunction I was part of as a child, but dwelling on that is not the point of this article. The reason for this article is to tell others that I am on a mission for more, and my hope is for others to join me. No one's childhood was perfect. Everyone had their issues growing up, whether it was a mother or father who was absent, angry, controlling, obsessive, permissive, violent, and the list could continue, but you get my point. I am learning through my own experiences that we need parents to be more present. My children are 4 & 6, and I have already done things as parents that I wish I could go back in time and redo, but that's not feasible. What is achievable is ending generational cycles and discovering self-love to benefit you and your family.
I look at the world around me and see so many people running their personalized hate programs. When we aren't living a vibrational life filled with love, connection, and compassion, we are only hurting ourselves and our loved ones. We need to start connecting and being more present for our children, helping them become more empathetic, something too many of us is lacking these days. For me, I have done deep personal work to heal my traumas and find my purpose again. My mind and soul were a mess, finding myself following patterns that I had was conditioned to believe. Let's stop having to do deep personal work to heal traumas and instead start living a vibrant life and showing our kids that love is the answer.
I write this knowing many others can relate to this story, and I want you to understand that there is more for you and your family. Quit settling and quit believing you can't because I know you can! It's time that we stop self-loathing and start self-loving for the sake of our children. Placing blame on our parents is not the answer, as they have also have been conditioned in their beliefs; hence the phrase "history repeats itself." Let us start being the solution to our world's most significant problem and start raising emotionally healthy children.